Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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