how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
