White coat. Heels.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
