Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
