I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
