Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
