I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
