I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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