Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
