Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I came so hard my ears popped.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
