If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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