I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
