Porn is love you can see.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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