Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
