i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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