I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
