You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
