i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize