I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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