I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
