Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
