I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
And then he peed in my hair
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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