i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
