She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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