just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
