Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
