The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
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Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
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I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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