brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
