everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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