is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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