and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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