Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
