I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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