I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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