There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
