I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
