TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
