if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
