I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
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