This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
