Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
