boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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