dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
