And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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