She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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