how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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