I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
