i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
