Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
