Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
