he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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