So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
