Michael Bay diarrhea
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
