I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
