I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
