I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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