I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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