One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
