So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
