your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My dad just said "fuck circus"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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