I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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