I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
