I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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