Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
