what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
