Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
